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How Can You Help?
Effective communication is important to a survivor’s well-being. If you are wondering what you can do, here are some suggestions:
Remain Calm
You may feel shocked or outraged but expressing these emotions to the survivor may cause confusion or discomfort
Give the survivor control
Control was taken away during the assault. Empower the survivor to make decisions about what steps to take next and try to avoid telling them what to do.
Believe the survivor
Make it clear that you believe the assault happened and that the assault is not their or his fault.
Be available
for the survivor to express a range of feelings: crying, screaming, being silent, etc. Remember, the survivor is angry with the person who assaulted them and the situation, not with you. Just be there to listen.
Assure the survivor of your support.
They need to know that regardless of what happened, your relationship will remain intact
Avoid making threats against the suspect.
Threats of harm may only cause the survivor to worry about your safety and risk of arrest.
Maintain Confidentiality
Let the survivor decide who to tell about the assault.
Encourage Counseling
Give the survivor the hotline number for the nearest rape crisis center but let the survivor decide whether or not to call
Ask Before Offering
Asking, “Can I give you a hug?” can re-establish the survivor’s sense of security, safety, and contro
Say what you can guarantee
Don’t make promises you can’t keep, such as saying the survivor will never be hurt again, or that the offender will be put in jail
Be Patient
Recognize that healing can take years with advances and setbacks
Take care of yourself
If you need support for yourself, please contact your local rape-crisis center for a confidential place to discuss your feelings.
Allow the proper authorities to deal with the assault
Confronting the person who committed the sexual assault may be harmful or dangerous. Attempting to investigate or question others who may know about the assault may hamper a legal investigation. Leave this to the proper authorities