Consent

Consent means both people actively agree with what they are doing together. It is a mutual decision that both people make without any coercion or force. Consent is best recognized when it is verbal and when it shows a “yes” or something like “sure” or “please”.

 

Dissociation

Those who were forced to undergo traumatic sexual abuse can find the experience too much to bear. Since the victim was prevented from leaving the assault physically, the only remaining option was mental escape (dissociation). Victims often describe it as “floating above themselves” or concentrating intently on a particular object in the room. Survivors may continue this behavior throughout their lives and in times of stress, may “space out,” or go numb. Dissociation is a normal response to victimization, but some survivors may find it disruptive in their daily lives and can seek help to learn to manage it.

 

Engaged Observer

An engaged observer is someone who intervenes before, during, or after a situation when they see or hear behaviors that promote sexual violence. It is common for people to witness situations where someone makes an inappropriate sexual comment or intimate sexual comment or innuendo, tells a rape joke, or touches someone in a sexual manner. Bystanders may also witness other forms of sexual violence. Bystanders who witness the behavior or hear the comment can intervene in a positive way that will help create a safer environment.

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Flashbacks

A flashback is a complete re-experiencing of the sexual assault. It is more than a memory the survivor actually believes the trauma is occurring right now, all over again. Often, victims are unable to distinguish the past from the present, or a friend/loved one from the person who assaulted them. This is a scary experience and they may need help in re-establishing their sense of safety.

 

Grooming

A gradual process where a perpetrator will deliberately test a person’s boundaries using their familiarity, social status, or power to take advantage of the person. Grooming often happens by building trust and familiarity, giving gifts or favors, separating the person from others (such as caregivers, friends, etc.), and violating boundaries. Grooming with children often also includes a gradual process of normalizing secrecy, including for sexual activities.

 

Offender

There are a lot of misconceptions and stereotypes about people who sexually abuse, however we know these stereotypes do not always tell the real story. In general, here are some facts about people who offend:

• People who sexually abuse can be of any gender, age, or ethnicity. Some individuals are married with stable relationships, employment, and lack a criminal history. They can have strong social ties in the community.

• Most sexual violence is committed by someone the victim knows — a family member, intimate partner, coworker, classmate, or acquaintance. Not all offenders are the same. Some are more likely to reoffend than others and there are different motivations for offending.

Most people who commit sexual offenses begin their offending behaviors during adolescence. Additionally, intervention and treatment is more likely to be successful when it happens early. For these reasons, it is important to address sexual violence committed by youths as well as by adults.

 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, is a psychiatric disorder that can occur following the experience or witnessing of life-threatening events such as military combat, natural disasters, serious accidents, or violent personal assaults like rape. According to the American Psychiatric Association, a person diagnosed with PTSD experiences the following:

1. A traumatic event that involved a serious threat of injury or death and a response of extreme fear

2. The unwelcome re-experiencing of an event

3. An effort to avoid things associated with an event

4. Persistent symptoms of arousal (irritability, difficulty concentrating and/or falling/staying asleep, etc.)

5. The above symptoms for a month or longer

6. The above symptoms that cause noticeable strain at work, in relationships, and/or other areas of life.

 

Triggers

Specific touches, sights, sounds, smells, places, etc., that involuntarily evoke a memory of the assault. Triggers often lead to painful flashbacks. Survivors often take conscious or unconscious steps to avoid triggers such as avoiding certain places, kinds of music, foods, smells, etc. Doing so means the survivor is forced to limit their life activities.

 

Victim vs. survivor

Throughout this guide, the terms “victim” and “survivor” are used interchangeably to be inclusive of the various ways people who have experienced sexual violence may identify. The Human Trafficking Resource Center recognizes and supports the use of person-first terminology that honors and respects the whole person, which is also reflected in this guide. Individuals may ultimately choose the language that is used to describe their experiences.